November 3, 2011

Sex chat,'booby girl' and the 'Explosion'....!

 u a girl??
for sex chat contact  me.. I'm male,name **** chatterjee....

                 I received this e- mail yesterday night(Nov 1 st 2011,11.40 pm to be precise).No,dont get me wrong.I am not going to start a lecture on the deteriorating moral health of the 'gen- next' Indians nor am I thinking of writing an essay on the deep pits of (moral)turpitude that our country has fallen into.
           Why does some random guy send me a mail requesting for sex chat all of a sudden?Neither have I got myself registered with some desi porn site nor have I published any erotic material in my blog till date.Who is this **** Chatterjee?Obviously,he must be some nerd who has hasn’t had the opportunity to touch anything feminine till date.Or how come someone be so desperate in these days of 3 Gs and sex torrents when even a 12 year old school boy finds shooting an erotic MMS with his GF as his favourite pass time? Anyways this guy reminded me of my sex hungry teenage years ,the nineties .So here goes nikhimenon into the flashback mode.
               Dad had just bought a brand new HCL PC(the machine was supposed to help me in doing my homework,assignments,projects et al and thereby help me become a better student and a successful individual )with a vsnl(bsnl was 'vsnl' at that point of time) internet connection.In those days,the internet was slowly making it's presence felt in India.Everybody had heard about it yet no one knew what it was really meant for.Some equated this with the cable tv while some compared it with the 'wireless set' which the local police men had access to.Anyways everyone knew that it was something big,really big.
              It didn't take me long to realise the true potential of the net.Then one fine morning, this 'sex chat' thing got my fancy.Someone in my class had ‘done it at home’ and he kept boasting for the whole week on how he hooked up with a girl through ‘yahoo chat’ .
               I still remember how thankful I were to the ' yahoo' people for starting a chat room that was big enough to cater to the wide and varied tastes of the desi perverts.But I soon understood that my dreams of a never ending ‘virtual sex life’ were as pointless as SRK's 150 crore super hero dream. Ofcourse I did indulge in sexchat (and managed to get a few consolation wins-read wet dreams- initially)but pretty soon I founded out that the girls who sounded 'hot' and tried to ‘arouse me’ were not girls at all but similarly frustrated desi men.The few 'real' girls that I actually managed to talk with were either nerds who were interested in discussing' really important things' like Global warming, the mating patterns of the polar bears , the probable consequences of y2k in the Indian I.T.Industry and stuff like that or unattractive and extremely goody- goody babes who would talk only about their life,their culinary skills and on how they manage to keep their parents happy by getting up early in the morning,brushing their teeth,avoiding bad talk with guys and blah blah.To add on to my woes,there were this sex bots which totally fool you by starting the chat as if they were some really good looking females.Then one fine day,this interesting conversation happened.Someone who called herself  the 'booby girl' was on the other side.

boobygirl369-Wat's up honey?
Me-Asl,M/F?  ('m so desperate,I know!)
boobygirl369-What 're you up to these days,sweetie?
Me- You from India?What's your age?(A 16 or 17 year old girl,ideally a desi.My expectations have no boundaries)
boobygirl369-(As if it didn't see my last query)-horny,sweetie.m Sandy.Wanna sex chat?
Me-( you think I am here for?)-ya.shall vhav sextalk?
boobygirl369-Wanna c me naked?wanna c my big boobs?
Me-(This girl really knows how to arouse a boy, I feel.The thought of seeing the greatest expanse of female flesh,-that too of a desi- 'live' for the first time in my life was making me mad.I feared I was going to explode)- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
For the next 10 mins there is no reply.This is too much.Where has the hottie gone leaving the 15 year old me-'the half naked -ready to explode boy' all alone in the middle of the night?Asked myself staring at the computer screen as though a hornbill waiting for the monsoon.Beep.I see my yahoo messenger chat box once again.
boobygirl369 -Sorry,yahoo doesn't support my $420 for 30 mins of service.Use pay pal/visa/mastercard.

Damn!Was I talking all this time to some automated machine/(sex)bot that gives horny messages just to attract traffic to some American porno site?(which even asks for a credit card for their service!)Did I unbutton myself only to see this stupid message flash on my computer screen?I was shattered.The time was 2 am.Could hear someone knocking at the door.-
'Nikhi,haven't you slept yet?What are you doing staying awake at 2 'o' clock in the night?'-The silence of the night made Dad's voice sound even louder.The knock was getting stronger.F***!
The next day,when I returned from school there was no PC in my room.It had found a new place in the drawing room along with a small note written in Bold letters which read something like this-

         -nikhimenon(Feedback solicited.Copy rights to the author.Please don't copy)

(Image courtesy-google images,Ashish Mohta)
Update-This post has been published in theviewspaper- the popular Indian blog for youth.Thank you all for your support.


sandeep said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sandeep said...

This post was really funny.You should write a novel,dude

Basil said...

I know all about this dude - been thru it n seen stuff for real :)Formative, curious years .... all history now. YM, I have been told have said they will close down soon - if its true, so well n good. We have Skype now - no chat rooms but safer :)

Basil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Red Handed said...

Hhahahahahah poor you!I do appreciate your guts for writing this you know, most guys or people for tht matter dont admit.
hahahah poor you! The bot just killed you!

nikhimenon said...

'm flattered

so 'v got company there.thanks for reading my post

Thanks.shit happens......!

TheBluntBlogger said...

All my college mates used to indulge themselves in yahoo chats those days :) I never found it entertaining...but yeah we did turn on the computer at 2am and watched porn at my friend's house ;)

Viya ;) said...

lol!!! :P :P i can't believe u actually did that!! :P :P hehehe!!
oh yeah! i do remember the 'ASL' everyone would ask as soon as they entered a chat room :P :P

nikhimenon said...


dint c see the semi-fiction tag?
m a very gud guy ,yu know..!lol..

The blunt blogger...

so i have got another member in my 2 am club..!

Viya ;) said...

hehe.. :P i decided to ignore the 'fiction' part :P :P ...
Lol.. if you say so 'good guy!'

Bhargavi said...

ha ha!I am so tired of random chicks emailing me saying "hai ,want fraindship in private".. Some even attach pics in the mail and cant but help laughing at such audacious behavior.

SUB said...

lol...they are always like that aren't's either fake or expensive :)

Anonymous said...

That is one of the awesomest thing I've read. I've never really heard anyone admit to having to had sex chat..ever! :)
Though, I kinda disagree with a lil bout all the girls online being prude or bots. I've been up at 2am most of the 90s and halfway through the 2000s..I've had the computer denied and connection cut a billion times. So I can relate to pretty much everything u've written here..inspite of being a girl :)

nikhimenon said...


thanks for yur comment....

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nice written11

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AS said...

hahahah! loved it! lozz :)

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