March 5, 2015

On Life, Hope and Optimism!

                   All of us go through ups and downs in life.As they say,life is definitely not a bed of roses.There will be times when you feel so low and actually feel like quitting.But again,success happens only to those who are patient and resolute in life.Afterall, it's quite easy to give up, which anyone can do at any point of time.It's perseverance and determination which decides whether you are a winner or a loser in life!

                  Being a 'normal'(well,debatable,I know!) human being,I too have had my share of ups and downs in life.But God has been kind to me all through my life.Even during the most depressing phases,he has given me something to cheer about,something to be optimistic about.This post is going to be an account of one such experience in my life.As you all know,ending up as an 'M.B.B.S only doc' in his/her life is every Medical graduates' nightmare.With the skewed ratio of the Under Graduates:Post Graduate seats (50,000:8000) in our Country not helping the matters in anyway,as soon as we finish our Graduation in Medicine(M.B.B.S),each one of us jump into the battle field that is the 'great Indian P.G.(M.D) Entrance Exams'.
                  The year was 2012.After completing my graduation in Medicine,I was working in the Casualty of a nearby general hospital.Though it was only about a year and a half since I graduated,the colourful college days had already started looking like something which had happened in some other life,eons ago.Adding on to the frustration was my absolute lack of luck in the M.D. Entrance exams.The All India P.G. Entrance Exam results were just announced and I had laid an 'egg' this time too!Basically,I was going through my 'entrance exam failure depressive phase'. Right from my 'beloved' relatives to our news paper boy had started asking me (with unmissable fake concern in their voice) " Entha,P.G. onnum ayille?ee kalathu M.D. illathe enganeya?". Perhaps,as an escape mechanism,I started taking more night duties in the Hospital.It was during one of those night duties that I met her,the six year old Aisha,a terminally ill ALL patient(Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia).The child was brought to the casualty as her illness had aggravated and was badly in need of some palliative care(there was nothing much we could do anyways!).I prescribed some intravenous analgesics for her and ordered admission.The high dose analgesic seemed to have it's effect after a couple of minutes as the child went to sleep peacefully.Even when she was in severe pain,the glow in her eyes was unmissable.
                 The next day morning,I went to the ward to see how the child was doing.I was surprised to see the child sitting on her bed and playing with her mother was none other than the terminally ill Aisha whom I had put on a heavy dose of analgesic the previous night.As I picked up her chart to go through her medication details,she came to me and asked me in the most innocent tone with the radiant glow of hope in her eyes still intact.-"Doctor sir,enne eppola viduka?Ippo thanne oru padu class miss aayi.Enikkum valuthayittu sir ne pole valya Doctor avanullatha...!" (Doctor,when will you discharge me?I have missed a lot of classes at school.Even I will become a competent doctor like you when I grow up!).I didn't know what to tell her,may be sensing my predicament,Aisha continued in her typical innocent tone."Doctor pedikkenda,ente asukham okke maarum.Enikkum Doctor ne pole valya aal aakanullathalle?"-that was the last straw.I could sense tears escaping my cheeks.I mumbled something to Aisha and literally ran out of the ward to my consultation room.They say doctors should be strong and learn to detach themselves from emotions.May be I was over reacting ,or worse,I was not good for the job! But what Aisha taught me that day was what a million books couldn't teach.Here I am sad,frustrated and depressed for not being able to crack a stupid entrance exam (inspite of having achieved a respectable degree in life)and there is this six year old child who is almost at the end of her life,but still,optimistic about what future/life has in store for her!
                    Years passed by and I succesfully cracked the P.G. Entrance exam the following year.Aisha had inadvertently helped me in overcoming my fear of failure.She left us a couple of months later but till date,I haven't met anyone in life who is as positive and optimistic about life as Aisha.Thank you Aisha,for letting me know the value of life,the beauty of hope and the power of optimism.

This story is a part of 's Look Up Stories Initiative.



Anonymous said...

good post