Cupid Games: Ragini & Nikhimenon

                                     

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                                           'Love'

             What is so special about this cute little thing called 'Love'? There should be something, for kingdoms have fallen and wars have been fought over it.Whatever said and done,it's such a nice feeling to be in love and if you haven't experienced it atleast for once in your life time,I tell you,you have missed something big,really big!

         I don't know what made me fall for her.Was it her innocent looks and   friendly attitude that attracted me? Or was it plain luck/sheer destiny that I chanced upon her? Honestly,I don't know.But one thing is for sure,it didn't take me long  to realize that she was indeed that 'special' one in my life.

Image:Indiblogger Close-up Cupidgames page

             They say,opposites attract.But if you ask me,I'll promptly tell you that there is nothing like that.Afterall,how is it possible to get along with someone,(even if it is for a few hours,forget sharing your whole life)who has absolutely nothing in common with you?I have no idea.Anyways,in my case, the theory of opposites definitely doesn't hold good.Myself and Ragini(for the sake of this post,we will call her Ragini) had so many things in common.From Stanley Kubrik films to Khalid Hosseini novels,our tastes were so similar that we even used to wonder how we managed to get everything so matching-matching!Well,as in the case of everyother relationship,ours too has seen it's own share of trivial fights and petty ego-clashes.But nothing ever turned out to be as nasty as last Saturday's.I even went to the extend of calling her names.Anyways,I have decided to reconcile with her soon and that's what makes this year's Valentine's Day all the more significant for me.I should prove her that I'm no commitment phobic jerk as she thinks.Dear reader,don't frown reading my rants,I badly want her, for I'm madly in love with her.I will ask her out again,this Valentine's day and for that I have devised a plan-a rather zany one at that! I'm sharing it with you people here,i.e. my dear readers believing that you guys won't leak it to her.Beware,if you do,the consequences will be dire!

Image:allvectordesign

           Okay,the plan goes likes this.{As you might have figured out by now,Ragini is a voracious reader.She is not only a bibliophile but also a sensible book critic and a ruthless book blogger(see,I had already warned you that she is as awesomely awesome as nikhimenon)}.I will make an e-journal of our 'love story' (smartly titled like a potential 'National Best seller'- 'Oops..I love you,You Love Me...')and pass it off to her as the debut romantic novel by the techie- turned-author Romesh Gargi for review(I have already convinced my IT friend,Arun Shekhar to play the role of R.Gargi.Though I have faith in his credentials I strongly doubt whether he'll over play his role!The dude has already made a fake g-mail id and a pothi.com account for Gargi,solely dedicated to accomplish 'Mission Ragini') .Brilliant naa? Yeah,I know! Well,the plan doesn't end there.Ragini for all her innocence and sensitivity will graciously accept the book for review and start reading it.Right into the second page,she will identify it as our 'love story'(for the book as intricate details of the little joys and fun we shared  and I'm sure,noone else in the world knows about them)and by the time she reaches the fourth page,she has not only already read my apology for 'last Saturday' but also my 'proposal' to share the remaining part of my mortal life with her.

Well,in those pages,this is what she will read-

gif courtesy-classroomclipart

"Ragini,Will you please be my Jessica Trent?"


This post was written for indiblogger in association with Close-UP- Cupid Games

-nikhimenon

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The Interview

                Well, I’ll start off by making a small confession to the loyal readers of random thoughts(if at all,there are any!)-The following post has been 'inspired' by some thought provoking,eye-opening(incase,you missed the first adjective!) real-life incidents, which may or may not mean that they actually happened in the awesomely awesome life of the infamously insane person behind this perfectly sane blog,i.e nikhimenon. Now that, I have taken the necessary anticipatory bail for the mediocricity and blandness in the upcoming lines,I think I can courageously embark on the journey of my experiments with (half) truths.

Image:bigstock.com

             This happened long ago(not as ‘long’ as you think,for nikhimenon hasn’t become a fat 90 year young man with greasy tooth and sagging ball..oops.!ball and socket joints, yet!);okay,let me be honest,this took place sometime in 2010(which also means that the world had just got an infamously handsome,brutally intelligent,painfully ignorant and compulsively sober fresh medical graduate by the name, nikhimenon).As I mentioned earlier,I had just finished my internship and was looking for a job opening in a nearby diabetic clinic so that I could earn a little bit of pocket money to take care of the petty expenses which I might encounter during the pre-pg coaching days of my life.

The ‘window period’(i.e.the time period between the receipt of my internship completion certificate and the commencement of classes at the MD/MS entrance exam coaching centre) was pretty short and like a Sunny Leone frantically trying to make as much money as possible before she turns forty,I badly wanted to join some job.Getting one at the nearby Soman’s Diabetic Clinic & Research Centre (as a duty doctor with a somewhat attractive pay)was my top priority at that point of time. Soman’s clinic was only half a kilometre away from my house(well, that was the the ‘official explanation’ I gave my mother for the ‘bias’,but actually the driving force behind my affinity towards SOMADIC-RECET was Mandakini,Dr Soman’s beautiful daughter and SOMADIC’s dutiful Public Relations Officer).

             It didn’t take me long to make a neatly typed resume(which incidentally had my ‘caste name’ and ‘unmarried’ marital status also in bold,just in case Dr Soman felt like promoting me as his son-in-law)and send it to Mandakini(she handled the ‘placement cell’ of the clinic as well).Within two days,I got an e-mail from Mandakini requesting me to attend an interview for the job.

             Like you might have guessed by now,I reached there on time(well,I was actually a couple of minutes late,fifty five minutes and thirty seconds,to be exact.Anyways, for the sake of this post,we will overlook those unnecessary details!) and was called in for interview after fifty eight minutes of wait in the lobby(the bench put near the reception counter).The delay( I couldn’t see any patients or fellow job aspirants in the nearby vicinity)was attributed to Dr Soman’s power yoga session,I was told later.

            After reminding myself not to confuse Diabetes Mellitus with Diabetes Inspidus while answering the questions of the Interview Board(frankly,I was one hundred and one percent sure that there would only be Dr Soman and no blackboard inside the dingy Cabin),I went inside his room.

“Your Name?”-Dr Soman with his typical ferocious look

“Dr Nikhimenon,Sir”

“Why did you choose SOMADIC-RECET?”

“Sir,I have come for the interview for the post of the Junior Doc,Sir.”

“Oops!Okay,Tell me something about SOMADIC-RECET”

“…….”

I started off blabbering something.The whole session felt more like a made-for-T.V social awareness docu-drama than a real life job interview with Dr Soman giving me gyaan on medical ethics,transference,doctor-patient relations and the importance of a doctor being well groomed and well mannered.I was more or less getting intoxicated and slowly but surely going to the ‘sleep’ mode with the heavy dose of life lessons,when Dr Soman suddenly threw this question at me.

“Dr Nikhimenon,How often do you shave?”

“What,sir?”

“I’m impressed with the answers which you gave me and I’m willing to appoint you here.But Will you please Shave before you come here for duty everyday?The patients don’t trust a doctor who looks shabby,unshaven and rowdy-like!”

Well,that was my enlightenment moment.With one stroke,Dr Soman not only managed to make me feel so small in front of him but also made me realise the reason behind the sudden ‘constipated and disgusted’ look on Mandakini’s face,which appeared the moment I had entered SOMADIC-RET.It was nothing other than the the untidy stubble on my face which was the cause for Mandakini’s instant dislike towards me!

I got the job in Dr Soman’s clinic and worked there for a couple of months before quitting it for my pre-pg coaching classes.Mandakini got impressed by some random person(a missed chance/opportunity for me!) from U.S and gave birth to his children(obviously!),soon after.

Whatever said and done,after the ‘SOMADIC-RET’ experience,I never forget to ask myself a simple question before I go to any job interview,

i.e- “Will You Please Shave, Dr nikhimenon?”

This post is a part of #WillYouShave activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette'.

-nikhimenon

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Sex chat,'booby girl' and the 'Explosion'....!

 u a girl??
for sex chat contact  me.. I'm male,name **** chatterjee....

                 I received this e- mail yesterday night(Nov 1 st 2011,11.40 pm to be precise).No,dont get me wrong.I am not going to start a lecture on the deteriorating moral health of the 'gen- next' Indians nor am I thinking of writing an essay on the deep pits of (moral)turpitude that our country has fallen into.

           Why does some random guy send me a mail requesting for sex chat all of a sudden?Neither have I got myself registered with some desi porn site nor have I published any erotic material in my blog till date.Who is this **** Chatterjee?Obviously,he must be some nerd who has hasn’t had the opportunity to touch anything feminine till date.Or how come someone be so desperate in these days of 3 Gs and sex torrents when even a 12 year old school boy finds shooting an erotic MMS with his GF as his favourite pass time? Anyways this guy reminded me of my sex hungry teenage years ,the nineties .So here goes nikhimenon into the flashback mode.

               Dad had just bought a brand new HCL PC(the machine was supposed to help me in doing my homework,assignments,projects et al and thereby help me become a better student and a successful individual )with a vsnl(bsnl was 'vsnl' at that point of time) internet connection.In those days,the internet was slowly making it's presence felt in India.Everybody had heard about it yet no one knew what it was really meant for.Some equated this with the cable tv while some compared it with the 'wireless set' which the local police men had access to.Anyways everyone knew that it was something big,really big.

              It didn't take me long to realise the true potential of the net.Then one fine morning, this 'sex chat' thing got my fancy.Someone in my class had ‘done it at home’ and he kept boasting for the whole week on how he hooked up with a girl through ‘yahoo chat’ .

(Image courtesy:images.google.com)

               I still remember how thankful I were to the ' yahoo' people for starting a chat room that was big enough to cater to the wide and varied tastes of the desi perverts.But I soon understood that my dreams of a never ending ‘virtual sex life’ were as pointless as SRK's 150 crore super hero dream. Ofcourse I did indulge in sexchat (and managed to get a few consolation wins-read wet dreams- initially)but pretty soon I founded out that the girls who sounded 'hot' and tried to ‘arouse me’ were not girls at all but similarly frustrated desi men.The few 'real' girls that I actually managed to talk with were either nerds who were interested in discussing' really important things' like Global warming, the mating patterns of the polar bears , the probable consequences of y2k in the Indian I.T.Industry and stuff like that or unattractive and extremely goody- goody babes who would talk only about their life,their culinary skills and on how they manage to keep their parents happy by getting up early in the morning,brushing their teeth,avoiding bad talk with guys and blah blah.To add on to my woes,there were this sex bots which totally fool you by starting the chat as if they were some really good looking females.Then one fine day,this interesting conversation happened.Someone who called herself  the 'booby girl' was on the other side.

Me-Hi

boobygirl369-Wat's up honey?

Me-Asl,M/F?  ('m so desperate,I know!)

boobygirl369-What 're you up to these days,sweetie?

Me- You from India?What's your age?(A 16 or 17 year old girl,ideally a desi.My expectations have no boundaries)

boobygirl369-(As if it didn't see my last query)-horny,sweetie.m Sandy.Wanna sex chat?

Me-(Wt..do you think I am here for?)-ya.shall vhav sextalk?

boobygirl369-Wanna c me naked?wanna c my big boobs?

Me-(This girl really knows how to arouse a boy, I feel.The thought of seeing the greatest expanse of female flesh,-that too of a desi- 'live' for the first time in my life was making me mad.I feared I was going to explode)- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

For the next 10 mins there is no reply.This is too much.Where has the hottie gone leaving the 15 year old me-'the half naked -ready to explode boy' all alone in the middle of the night?Asked myself staring at the computer screen as though a hornbill waiting for the monsoon.Beep.I see my yahoo messenger chat box once again.

boobygirl369 -Sorry,yahoo doesn't support my webcam.Visithotgirlsforu.com/payandproceed.Only $420 for 30 mins of service.Use pay pal/visa/mastercard.

Damn!Was I talking all this time to some automated machine/(sex)bot that gives horny messages just to attract traffic to some American porno site?(which even asks for a credit card for their service!)Did I unbutton myself only to see this stupid message flash on my computer screen?I was shattered.The time was 2 am.Could hear someone knocking at the door.-

'Nikhi,haven't you slept yet?What are you doing staying awake at 2 'o' clock in the night?'-The silence of the night made Dad's voice sound even louder.The knock was getting stronger.F***!

                          ************************************

The next day,when I returned from school there was no PC in my room.It had found a new place in the drawing room along with a small note written in Bold letters which read something like this-

‘NO COMPUTER AFTER 10 PM’.

         -nikhimenon(Feedback solicited.Copy rights to the author.Please don't copy)

 

(Image courtesy-google images,Ashish Mohta)

Update-This post has been published in theviewspaper- the popular Indian blog for youth.Thank you all for your support.

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