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The year was 2012.After completing my graduation in Medicine,I was working in the Casualty of a nearby general hospital.Though it was only about a year and a half since I graduated,the colourful college days had already started looking like something which had happened in some other life,eons ago.Adding on to the frustration was my absolute lack of luck in the M.D. Entrance exams.The All India P.G. Entrance Exam results were just announced and I had laid an 'egg' this time too!Basically,I was going through my 'entrance exam failure depressive phase'. Right from my 'beloved' relatives to our news paper boy had started asking me (with unmissable fake concern in their voice) " Entha,P.G. onnum ayille?ee kalathu M.D. illathe enganeya?". Perhaps,as an escape mechanism,I started taking more night duties in the Hospital.It was during one of those night duties that I met her,the six year old Aisha,a terminally ill ALL patient(Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia).The child was brought to the casualty as her illness had aggravated and was badly in need of some palliative care(there was nothing much we could do anyways!).I prescribed some intravenous analgesics for her and ordered admission.The high dose analgesic seemed to have it's effect after a couple of minutes as the child went to sleep peacefully.Even when she was in severe pain,the glow in her eyes was unmissable.
The next day morning,I went to the ward to see how the child was doing.I was surprised to see the child sitting on her bed and playing with her mother was none other than the terminally ill Aisha whom I had put on a heavy dose of analgesic the previous night.As I picked up her chart to go through her medication details,she came to me and asked me in the most innocent tone with the radiant glow of hope in her eyes still intact.-"Doctor sir,enne eppola viduka?Ippo thanne oru padu class miss aayi.Enikkum valuthayittu sir ne pole valya Doctor avanullatha...!" (Doctor,when will you discharge me?I have missed a lot of classes at school.Even I will become a competent doctor like you when I grow up!).I didn't know what to tell her,may be sensing my predicament,Aisha continued in her typical innocent tone."Doctor pedikkenda,ente asukham okke maarum.Enikkum Doctor ne pole valya aal aakanullathalle?"-that was the last straw.I could sense tears escaping my cheeks.I mumbled something to Aisha and literally ran out of the ward to my consultation room.They say doctors should be strong and learn to detach themselves from emotions.May be I was over reacting ,or worse,I was not good for the job! But what Aisha taught me that day was what a million books couldn't teach.Here I am sad,frustrated and depressed for not being able to crack a stupid entrance exam (inspite of having achieved a respectable degree in life)and there is this six year old child who is almost at the end of her life,but still,optimistic about what future/life has in store for her!
Years passed by and I succesfully cracked the P.G. Entrance exam the following year.Aisha had inadvertently helped me in overcoming my fear of failure.She left us a couple of months later but till date,I haven't met anyone in life who is as positive and optimistic about life as Aisha.Thank you Aisha,for letting me know the value of life,the beauty of hope and the power of optimism.
This story is a part of housing.com 's Look Up Stories Initiative.
-nikhimenon
1 comments:
good post
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