The algebra of infinite entertainment….!

thought by nikhimenon@gmail.com

The year so far has been a rather panauthy one for  the Malayalam film industry .While the George ‘Thanthonny’ Vargheses and the Mammas ‘es tried their best to give nightmares for  cinegoers   in the theaters,the veterans in the field like Shaji Kailas,Kamal and Siddique also didn’t want to be left too far behind.Thanks, to the  combined effort of these really talented people, malayali grew  wiser enough to care neither about masterpieces like ‘Cheriya Kallanum vallya police’,Annarakannanum Thannalayathu,Kadaksham et al nor about the cineplexes screening anything remotely  related to a Malayalam movie.While Thilakan hallucinated about some random things, Sukumar Azheekodu found a reason for his verbal diarrhoea.The theatre owners realized that if they go on screening gems like these,they would soon afflict themselves with some weird mental illness which Karan Johar would swiftly make Shah Rukh Khan suffer from in his next film.The producers  association and AMMA,(who had earlier banned shah rukh from their organization for forcing keralites to watch his films) on the other hand fantasized themselves receiving  the President’s bravery award for not having succumbed  to the crooked  tactics of the theatre owners.Meanwhile  the malayali kids  safely enjoyed Vijay and Tamannah dancing their way to glory in theatres during their mid summer vacation.  Anyways let us look at some of the most awesomely awesome products that Malayalam cinema has produced this year so far.As a tribute to their unaccomplished talent we are also giving out awards for each genre. 

Most Awesome Romantic Movie:- The Award- The  knife used by Aamir Khan to kill himself in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak.

Winner: Body Guard .  

What could be more romantic than Mr.Prabhudeva flying all the way from Chennai to Kochin to make his sweetheart’s on- screen hero  learn the nuances of Natya Shasthra?What indeed is  more awesomely awesome than watching Dileep playing a college student for whom an all dressed up Nayans falls for?Everything associated with the movie is top- notch.There is that trendy safari suite of Dileep which has become a rage among the college going urban crowd.There is the  ultra cool Nayans who emotes as if she is in the sets of some dubbed Malayalam film(ofcourse minus the short skirts and the tight Ts).To top it all you have a Salem Vishnu(sometimes referred to as bhagyaraaj) with a face that is as wooden as the sofa in your drawing room ,as Nayan’s father .The climax of the movie ,as the promos promised is truly shocking and unapologetically original (for those who haven’t watched a flop hindi movie called’kuch kuch hota hai’ directed by some random guy called Karan Johar). 

Most Awesome Horror thriller- The Award- kanchivaram saree used by Naagavalli in Manichitrathazhu.

Winner:Drona  2010 .   Simply the last word in horror. Mamootty doubling himself as the handsome hunk (who eventually gets killed by the ‘ghost’)and his astrologist turned Sanskrit pandit turned tantric acharyak brother,Drona (with an extra 2010 added to it ,so that the historians can easily remember the year in which this monumental work of art made it to the theatres) was indeed every horror movie buffs’ delight.

One of the most fantabulous and wildly original scenes of the movie being the one in which the back story of the yakshi aka Thathrikutty played by Dhanya Mary Varghese is shown.Thathrikutty,according to A.K.Sajan and Shaji Kailas  is an extremely learned and wise chick who can even crack the hardest puzzles in the universe.A group of learned Namboothiri men from the rival illam,(dressed up as if they are acting in some doordarshan mythological serials of the ramanand sagar era),try to make her eat humble pie by defeating her in an open quiz.The wise and the smart lad that she is,replies to their final querry that the most titillating emotion in the universe is lust /sex.Big mistake,big fucking mistake!The Namboothiri  men who are aversed to sex and resort to parthenogenesis as their mode of reproduction,becomes furious and questions her virginity.Guess what,the humiliated Thathrikutty commits suicide in the next frame only to become a yakshi later!In the midst of all these,you have bargain basement special effects hacked from The Matrix and the Terminator,bgm which gifts you a good migraine and a theme song,popping up everytime Mamootty walks in slow motion . Fear can indeed never get as frightening,  terrifying, or horrifying. A movie so horrible that you cannot stop  wondering what sinister spirit must have taken control of the big stars who signed on the dotted line. Manoj K jayan , playing a Nagavally in the body of a chanthupottu; Bala,Vijayakumar and Nandhu playing monks.(without an ‘e’ and a ‘y’).Thilakan showing his hatred towards Mammootty  on screen .Everyone associated with the movie were so awesomely awesome that  the audience were even ready to laugh at the intelligent and subtle jokes of Suraaj venjaramoodu.

Most awesome Mass Masala Entertainer: The Award-MCR dhothi used by Mohanlal In Narasimham

Winner:Thanthonni .Post Puthiya Mukham ,Prithviraaj,the youth icon wanted to show his beloved audience that he was superb enough to wear an MCR dhothi revealing his striped inner wear.Hence somebody called George Varghese stepped in to let ‘the style raaj’ run wild on-screen.The result was an immensely entertaining,fantabulously thrilling enterprise called Thanthonni.The script was so genuine and awesomely awesome that a man named Renjith,after seeing Thanthonny (who wrote some duds called Narasimham and Usthaad some years back) became nostalgic about some useless scripts churned out  by himself.Anyways Prithviraaj was happy at the end of the day as he could fulfill some of his fantasies(like to wear a suite in a Malayalam film,to do dishyum dishyum with the villains in the deserts of dubai…) on screen where as the producers of the movie thought how they  could recover their money.

Most awesome Comedy movie: The Award-The hat used by Mohanlal and Srinivasan in Pattana Pravesam.

Winner:Pappy Appacha.  Dileep playing an action hero.Innocent repeating his Manasinakkare act.Kavya Madhavan making herself believe that she is still in the bussiness.Udit Narayan convincing Vidyasaagar about his command over Malayalam language.

Genuinely hilarious…! 

-nikhimenon